Taco "I'm In" Hell

On Sundays after church I often take the kids through the drivethru at Taco Bell. My two youngest love the bean burritos (my younger daughter is a vegetarian, yes, by choice, and yes, from birth and 4 years later still going strong, and yes, we attempt to introduce meat to her every so often, and no, she won't have anything to do with it, and yes she gets plenty of protein, and yes, she's in the 99th percentile for height and taller than her friends and cousins that are 6 months to a year older than her and boys but I digress), and who can argue with the "run for the border" price?

Also relatively new to Taco Bell's menu is the addition of the Fresco style option. Essentially choosing this option 86's the cheese and sour cream, and replaces it with spicy pico de gallo and lettuce. It doesn't super dramatically reduce calories, but it cuts 40-80 calories off any given item. And when you're watching calories like my wife and I are, every 40-80 calories makes a difference.

So this Sunday, we roll through the drivethru. Normally I love our Taco Bell. It's right around the corner from our house, it's brand new, and the staff is very, very fast. They also skip the "Would you like to try our " greeting. I hate that--we're already dumbing down our food to something that can be prepared in 15 seconds flat, do we really need them to think for us in the drivethru lane also!? Anyway, I love that they skip that part and instead say, "Hi, how are you today?"

And I reply, "I am well, how are you today.

Then they reply, "I am good, thank you for asking."

It's such a pleasant interchange. It takes all of 10 seconds, and it just brightens everybody's day. I also make it a habit to consciously be extra polite to people that work food service, retail jobs, or other service oriented jobs. They are people too, although they aren't often treated well. Not to mention I often receive exceptional service as a result. And if I don't, I probably was going to get crappy service anyway, so what's been lost?

Enter today.

Today I tried to order my food Fresco style, and the girl just couldn't get it right. She put in the wrong items to start with. Then when I tried to correct her, she just added what I did want to the list without taking the unwanted items off. And then rather than Fresco style, she just started taking things off my items one by one. Salsa? Gone. Cheese? Out of here. Sour cream? Hasta la vista baby! Onions? Hit the road Jack. It was so infuriating. I've actually had less frustrating conversations with brick walls!

Finally the manager got on the intercom and got everything straightened out.

But the shenanigans continued when I got to the window.

The girl took my credit card, and I was asked if I wanted "Hot, Fire, or Mild sauce."

I said "No."

She asked if I wanted "Hot, Fire, or Mild sauce."

I said, "No thank you."

Then she asked me if I wanted "Hot, Fire, or Mild sauce."

And I didn't bother answering while I helplessly watched her stuff a handful of each into our bag.

Next, the girl told me the total, and held out her hand expectantly waiting to be paid. I told her that I had given her my card already. She couldn't find it, and so a great search ensued. When I finally got my card back several minutes later it was covered in Taco Bell floor snot--which she made no attempt to clean off.

Then the silly girl was just smart enough to hand me a survey invitation...

And when I got home, got the kids settled, and bit into my freshly prepared Taco Bell items, do you think they were prepared Fresco style?

I'll give you three guesses, and the first two don't count.