A post about, what else, Mother's Day

I am not a Mother. Never will be. No matter if I tried, I would never attain the coveted lofty title of Mom.

I am a father however. And sometimes it seems that's not enough in this world. The title Father bears with it the tiniest hint of incompetence.

Don't believe me?

Take a gander at any random commercial on TV that depicts a father. How are they portrayed? The bumbling idiot dad is one of the most recognizable advertising ploys in use today--second only to sex appeal itself. Most people don't even notice it's so ingrained in our culture.

It makes me crazy.

My wife works every Saturday night--she's on weekend plan at her hospital. Since she needs to come home and sleep, I take the kids to church every Sunday by myself. You would not believe the amount of comments I get "in support" of my actions.

"That's great!", I'm told, "Good for you!"

"Got the kids here all on your own? That's fantastic!"

Positive words for sure, and certainly better than negative. But why are people compelled to applaud my efforts?

There is a couple in our church small group--the husband is employed by the church and he's heavily involved in the technical aspects of the church service. He arrives quite early Sunday mornings and is busy throughout the morning with every part of the service. His wife is essentially there with their 3 children by herself. We all sit together as a small group, and not once have I heard her being congratulated for making it to church on her own with their 3 children.

Why is that?

Being alone as a father with my children in public carries a great deal of pressure as well. I feel like the kids need to be impeccably dressed. If something doesn't match, or someone is wearing 2 different socks, or pants are too small, I get that knowing look. Like I'm being given grace because I'm the dad. If my wife has my kids out and about and something is askew, it's because maybe she's having a bad day.

Or, how about if a child is upset, and inconsolable. Why of course, they "just need their mother." Yet, how is a child typically behaving when they "just need their father"? Usually a behavior problem, the result of not having a strong male role model.

I could go on about this for an entire post, or six, but that's not the point of this post.

My wife knows these arguments well. She hears my diatribe nearly every time we watch TV. She listens to me gripe when someone says something particularly insensitive about fathers, or men in general. She puts up with my fierce independence and pride in my ability to do things for my children myself.

And yet, she is a mother. She calms crying children with a sweet caress to the face. She dresses our kids in stylish attractive clothing. She balances her career and her role at home with grace and dignity. She grew my children, stitched them together in her womb while I merely looked on from the outside.

Being a mother is a special thing, have no doubt. And my wife is a special mother to be certain.

And I think know in all my righteous indignation, I forget to tell her that enough.

So, sweetie, thanks for being such a great mother to our children. They we all are better for it.